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What does your body language say about you?

9/25/2014

We have all heard that body language sometimes speaks louder than the words. This common phrase reminded me of an interesting Ted talk I recently watched featuring Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist, discussing her research on body language. During the talk she compares poses that convey power to poses that convey intimidation or weakness. Her studies show that people who pose in powerful positions for two minutes a day actually become more confident. Power poses are those that take up more space, whereas low-power poses are those that make you smaller. She basically reinforces the directions my mother always used to give to me, “stand up straight!”

Cuddy makes the point that standing tall can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, thus making us feel stronger and more confident. This not only helps in the moment, but standing in power poses for two minutes a day actually has long-term benefits as well. According to Amy Cuddy, one can in fact fake it, not until you make it, but until you start believing it. Standing in high-power poses for just two minutes a day by yourself can positively alter your perception of yourself. So what’re you waiting for?!? Give it a try!

Link to the Ted talk:
http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are

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The power of language

9/17/2014

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Language… We all use it, but how often do we think about what it means to put words to something? Putting our thoughts into language has more power than we might realize. Being able to use language in effective ways is an incredibly valuable skill, but the simple act of writing can help in your personal life as well.

To put our thoughts on paper is to bring them out of the confines of our minds to be fully composed, or perhaps put into action. It is the first step to declaring our wants, needs, questions, and ideas. To write our ideas down, or speak them aloud, gives them a whole new life and opportunity to grow. If you have goals for the future, write them down to make them more than fleeting thoughts in the car on the way to work. Writing down your thoughts or wants can also help you mentally prepare to ask for them in the future.

Language can also help you realize what you need to watch for. For example, words like “should” or “ought” are red flags. Should you do something because it’s what you want or because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do? If it’s the latter, then you need to course correct. Your goals should reflect what YOU want. Try this…make a list of the ten things you want most. It’s a surprisingly simple exercise to get focused on personal and professional goals.

Use the power of language to your advantage- write down your goals; this will help in creating the opportunity for achieving them. Be precise when you are asking for something, and say your ideas with conviction. I know someone who wrote down a goal to have a very busy, bustling business, but what she left out was that the business was to be prosperous. She was busy all of the time working seven days a week, but she didn’t have balance in their life or money in the bank!
What is it that you want?

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25 things I would say to my 25 year old self

9/3/2014

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Do you ever hear yourself saying, “If I knew then what I know now, I would have …”?

When I was 25, I had graduated from college, launched my career and found my passion. I worked in a nonprofit, which rapidly grew under a CEO who became my first significant mentor. If I could sit down with that young, ambitious woman today, here are 25 things I would tell her.

(1) Make a list of the five things you want most in the world and think about why you want them — then ask if the job you have is going to help you get any of them.

(2) Ask for help.

(3) Be persistent.

(4) Listen with your ears and your eyes — you’re more likely to get the whole picture.

(5) Learn as much as you can about as many things as you can. Just because you are done with school does not mean that you’re finished learning.

(6) You will be most successful if you learn how to write and speak well — even better if you can speak in public and learn to enjoy it.

(7) Put yourself first. Eat right, exercise, take time off to have fun — no one will ever be able to do that for you. Don’t put it off.

(8) Don’t confuse what you do for a living for who you are as a person. Never wear your job title like a cloak.

(9) Success never happens by doing something all alone — it’s impossible. Really. Nurture the friendships that you make when you are 25 — you will be surprised to find out how many of those people will still be in your life and able to help you 25 years later. Rejoice in their success as much as you do your own.

(10) Make plenty of time for your family, especially your parents and grandparents — they won’t be around forever and they have a lot of support and experience to share. I planned on having my own mother around until she was in her late 80s, thought I had plenty of time. She died at 63. I could make a list of a thousand questions that I never got to ask her.

(11) The best connections come from personal contact — not an email.

(12) Be more concerned with doing something well than with doing it fast. Speed does not equal quality.

(13) Be brave, practice courage, keep innovation high on the agenda, and strive to make the exceptional real.

(14) When faced with a very difficult decision, ask yourself if you could explain it to the world on the six o’clock news — either now or in 30 years. If the answer is no, rethink how you are handling things.

(15) No matter what is happening, if you are in a leadership position, people are counting on you to stay calm.

(16) The longer you hang on to a bad idea, the harder it is to let it go.

(17) Don’t confuse effort with results. Just because someone works from 7 a.m. until 7 p.m. seven days a week does not make him or her smarter or more productive than you; it makes them more likely to burn out.

(18) Practice patience with yourself and others.

(19) Try to learn what everyone goes home to at the end of the day — you will become more compassionate.

(20) Never yell at anyone. EVER. People never recover from this. You remember the leaders you have worked with who admit that they made a mistake and try to make it right far longer than the ones who never admit that they are sorry for something they did.

(21) Be the first to forgive — really forgive. Chances are it will make working with that person again a whole lot easier.

(22) Walk away from gossip. Don’t listen to it. Don’t participate in it.

(23) Keep a journal of every accomplishment, award and promotion — it will help you to build your resume.

(24) Never compromise your standards.

(25) No matter how awful something seems today, it will get better. You will get over it.

I would also tell my 25-year-old self to always keep your eyes open for challenges — they are there to help you grow. If there is something facing you that you fear you can’t handle, that is most likely the very thing that will catapult your career in the direction of the greatest success.

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What does your body language say about you?

The power of language

25 things I would say to my 25 year old self

Anne Saile

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