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Getting people to talk behind your back – tips for strengthening your reputation at work 

1/8/2015

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How do you get people talking positively about you? Establishing a reputation is crucial for career success. You want to be known as someone who is easy to work with and incredibly determined, and you want others to be the ones talking about it.

Here a few tips on how to establish a reputation for excellence:

1.    Respond to emails quickly and thoroughly
Be prompt with responses, but it isn’t all about speed, writing thorough emails that answer the question, explain why, and anticipate further questions makes you appear not only knowledgeable, but very attuned to the needs of others. This is also a huge time-saver because, when done correctly, it eliminates a lot of the back and forth that can make checking emails so time consuming.

2.    Always have a plan B
Be reliable and show that you are prepared to complete a task, even if there are some road bumps along the way. Deadlines are set for a reason, so try to plan on completing a task a week or so ahead to give yourself time to adjust if any complications arise. Like with email, try to predict where a problem might occur in order to help find an alternate solution. This shows initiative, control, and time management. There are, however, times when meeting the deadline just cannot happen. If you find yourself in this type of situation, always talk to the client or manager a few days before the deadline so that everyone is in the know, and further progress and resources aren’t mishandled. It’s never a good idea to blame someone else for a missed deadline. If it was your responsibility, you have to take the blame for something that doesn’t get done on time. People admire someone who will shoulder responsibility.

3.    Take initiative
Don’t wait to be asked. If you see something that needs to be done, go ahead and do it. This shows those around you that you are a hard worker who doesn’t need constant direction.

4.    Speak up
If you are in a position to give your opinion on a project, do so. Don’t be afraid, but always give your opinion respectfully so that you don’t come off as arrogant or rude if your opinion differs from those around you. Companies love having a wide array of ideas and opinions, so don’t keep quiet if you have a good idea.

Having a strong reputation can strengthen all of your personal and professional relationships. The best way to build a reputation that will create a successful career is to have people saying good things about you when you are not in the room. It’s a wonderful thing when you hear that someone has made a great remark about you behind your back. 

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Are you over networking?

12/11/2014

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December might be the busiest month for networking events with the holidays bringing office parties, and events sponsored by trade associations, vendors, and civic groups. It’s important to network, but it’s really easy to fall into the trap of overdoing it. So how do you decide when to go and when to stay home?

Here are a few questions to help you decide:

  1. Let’s start here- answer this question: Are you exhausted? If the answer is yes, and you have an event scheduled that evening, put yourself first and stay home. Being over tired at a gathering never makes a good impression and chances are you won’t be enthusiastic about chatting with people.
  2. Have you attended more than three networking holiday parties this week and it’s only Thursday? If so, you are on the way to overload. Being out the majority of the week for networking events starts to show diminishing returns. “ I feel like I see you everywhere” can be code for, “ don’t you have a personal life?” When people are seen at just about every event it begins to look like they don’t value their own time.
  3.  Are you really getting good connections and building relationships with the events that you go to? After each one write down the names of people you met that you actually plan to follow up with and get to know better. If you find yourself leaving parties feeling like you talked to everyone but connected with no one, it’s time to think about whether you are spreading yourself too thin.
  4.  And finally are you finding yourself frequently cancelling at the last minute because you just can’t face one more lunch, dinner or cocktail party? Before RSVP’ing, take time to REALLY consider if you want to go to whatever it is you’re committing to. It’s far better to say you can’t attend in advance than to cancel or, even worse, to not show up. People who are frequent no-shows tend to eventually get a reputation for not being reliable, and run the risk of being dropped from future guest lists.
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5 Ways to Make Public Speaking Easier

10/16/2014

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The fall season seems to be loaded with events where people are asked to go to the podium and say a few words or give an acceptance speech for an award. Public speaking is not always the easiest thing to master, but there are hundreds of tips and tricks to help you become an effective speaker. Here are a few of my favorites:

1. First, promise yourself that you will be amazing, that the talk you will give will be your best, and then get to work on preparing to make that a reality. Don’t wait until the last minute to prepare for it. Ask for help in creating your remarks if you feel at a loss for what to say.

2. Write down what you want your audience to take away from your presentation. If you could hear them sum up your speech in two sentences, what would they say? Chances are if you have done enough public speaking, you have delivered at least one talk that had no point at all … and it didn’t feel good.

3. Insert a quote or tell a relevant story (it makes everything more interesting).

4. Write out what you want to say. It’s best to speak without reading anything; but if you must read, do these three things:
  • Have a friend read aloud to you what you have written so that you can hear what your talk sounds like. This will prompt you to come up with edits to make certain points clearer.
  • Type your remarks using 19-point font, and type no more than two-thirds down the page. This way you will be keeping your chin up and not looking down to the bottom of the page while up at the podium. It also makes it appear that you aren’t totally reading from your remarks.
  • Record your remarks into your phone (assuming you have the app). Play your remarks in the car, or use your ear buds to listen whenever you can as a quick and easy way to get what you want to say imprinted in your mind. Memorizing your presentation helps you feel more confident when you’re speaking. No one wants to be nervous about public speaking AND forget what he or she is trying to say…
5. When you are on stage speak naturally, speak slowly, and remember that people don’t really rememberwhat you say as much as they remember how you say it. Everyone in the audience wants you to do well. Look out into the crowd and know that they are rooting for you to do a great job. Breathe, smile, and take charge of the room. Remember to keep your remarks within the time frame you were given- people don’t mind if your comments are too brief, but they never forget if you go on for too long.

Categories: Business Development , Client Relations , General , Leadership , Presentations | More

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Shhh... W.A.I.T. one minute

7/1/2014

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When you’re deciding if a colleague is good at their job, chances are you consider how effectively they communicate. You think about how often they contribute meaningful suggestions, how relevant what they say is to the topic at hand, and how much you look forward to hearing what they’ll say about something that’s important to you.

But have you ever been in a conversation at work where the other person talks at you? When you finally have a chance to speak, you have the feeling they aren’t hearing a word you’re saying because they’re too busy thinking about what they’re going to say next. Have you ever been in a meeting that’s so completely dominated by one person that your mind can only ponder ways to make the person stop talking? 

There’s a saying: “What you’re doing screams so loudly, I can barely hear what you’re saying.”  This happens when someone’s actions are so overbearing – when they talk so much – they send a message (whether they intend to or not) that other people’s opinions just don’t matter. This type of conversation happens all too often.

What should we do when we encounter this type of situation? Here are a few things that come to mind:

1) Monitor yourself to see if you’re an offender. Ask yourself: Is what I’m about to say relevant to the conversation? Has it already been covered? Am I repeating myself? Am I only talking because I’m nervous or want to fill silence? Do people tend to lose focus while I’m speaking? Does the person running the meeting often say to me “let’s hear from some other people”?  If at any point you find yourself answering yes to one of these questions, you might an offender.

2) Remember the saying, “silence is golden.” The silent space that’s created from the time we end our thought until the time the next person chimes in is an opportunity for better ideas to be presented, for team buy-in to be established, and for people to share thoughts that otherwise might be stuffed under constant chatter. In sales training, it’s taught that the amount of talking done by the salesperson directly influences the probability of closing a deal. You must build a relationship – which means two people must be able to meaningfully contribute to the conversation. And the invaluable time that businesses set aside for internal meetings can be much more productive if conversations are focused and people aren’t allowed to go off on tangents. 

3) Always practice active listening. Can you recall what the last person said? If not, it could mean that you’re too focused on what you’ll be saying next. Active listening is the process of looking someone in the eye, being silent while they speak, and really hearing what they have to say. It’s the practice of keeping your mind focused like a laser on the importance of someone’s comments, without being distracted by your own thoughts, your cell phone, or your computer. If you can’t resist the temptation to check some electronic device when someone else is speaking, it means that you’re not giving the conversation your full attention. A recent study said simply having a cell phone placed on the table diminishes the chance of having meaningful conversations by almost 50 percent. (This is true for both business and personal conversations.) 

4) Need help dealing with a person who can’t (or won’t) stop talking? Try giving them this non-verbal cue – when they go on and on, look down at the table or away from them. This usually causes a natural break in conversation for even the most talkative person. Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with someone who isn’t making eye contact? It’s almost impossible. 

5) What can you do if you’re the one who can’t stop talking?  Paste W.A.I.T. in a place you will see often. It stands for “Why Am I Talking?” The next time you are about to chime in at a meeting, you’ll be more likely to take a moment and WAIT –  to ask yourself, Why Am I Talking?

6) Think about how often someone you know has intentionally paused after finishing a thought, and because they paused someone else jumped in to fill that silence with a thought that solved a major problem. Words are powerful tools, and the greatest leaders of our time understand both this and the power of silence between thoughts. They know that when both are used wisely, profound results ensue. 

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Having trouble unplugging?

6/26/2013

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I was shopping the other day when the store clerk asked the woman in front of me for her home phone number. She paused and then took out her cell phone. At that point, she commented that her brain is stored in her phone, that if she lost it she wouldn’t be able to call a single person she knows for help because she doesn’t have anyone’s number committed to memory – not even her own home phone.

She is not alone. I too have limited numbers committed to memory. It’s amazing how much we rely on cell phones, tablets, and computers. One group of students I spoke with the other day said their smart phone is the last thing they see at night and the first thing they check in the morning. Without debate, we can safely say that technology has changed the landscape of our lives. Regardless of which generation you identify with, you fall somewhere on the spectrum of “yes, I enjoy the luxuries or technology from time to time” to “life would cease to exist without my smartphone”. Some feel that by being constantly plugged in to the world, we can be better parents, friends and employees. By responding to work emails immediately from our beach vacation and instantly answering a clients question at 11 pm, we show what team players we are and how great we are at communication and customer service. Right???

Studies have shown that being constantly connected has some side effects that might not be so beneficial to our career or our health. Here is a just a partial list of things to keep in mind when you reach for your phone:

Answer Anxiety
We can tend to be more anxious and stressed because of that urgent feeling like you need to respond to emails right away – anytime of the day or night.

Wait a Minute
By responding to emails immediately, especially those containing upsetting news or perceived “tone”, our hasty reply may be something better left unsaid had we given it a bit more thought.

Check Please
The address auto fill feature is great- as long as you double check it before hitting the send button. When we are in a hurry to respond, it can easily result in the wrong person being copied on the information. (I once had a friend who wrote an e-mail complaining about a co-worker and put the persons name in the address section rather than the person she intended it to go to. Ooops.)

Lights Out
Studies have shown that the blue light emitted from tablets and phones can actually interrupt your sleep pattern.

Be Social with your Network
The more time we spend checking on social media and interacting virtually, the less time we actually engage with the people around us. We’ve all seen a table of four in a restaurant typing on their phone and not saying a word to each other. Face to face interaction is a beneficial activity both personally and professionally.

So how do we unplug? Here are some tips I have heard that are useful.
  • Don’t even look at your phone for the first hour of every day. Use that time to energize yourself.
  • Think of three things you would like to do in a week and schedule the time to put your phone and computer away to get it done. It should be something fun like going for a walk, playing tennis, visiting a friend, or watching a movie.
  • Promise yourself to unplug at least a half hour before you go to bed. Take that time to wind down.
  • Unplug while driving. Turn the phone off completely. Put it in the truck if you think you won’t be able to resist checking it.
  • And here’s a real challenge – unplug from all technology for one day and see what the world looks like. You might be surprised at how you feel!

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The write way

5/15/2013

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No matter what your job, writing is a valuable skill. The ability to communicate your thoughts, ideas and data in a clear, concise and effective way can make the difference between being heard and being overlooked. Here are a few basic writing tips I have found helpful.
  • Lay out main points or ideas before beginning
  • Be aware/familiar with the intended audience
  • Never use your first draft as your final draft
  • ALWAYS run spell check- and then do your own check
  • Watch grammar and punctuation usage (especially commas)
  • Use the same tense throughout
  • Keep it simple- remove unnecessary words and sentences
  • Be clear- use short, declarative sentences, use plain English and avoid technical jargon
  • For business writing, leave out emotions, opinions and exclamation points
  • Use active verbs instead of passive verbs
  • Walk away from your writing and come back to it at a later time- chances are you will see something that needs to be clarified
  • Have someone else read it to give feedback and edits
  • Read your draft out loud to hear it as others would read it
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    Anne Saile

    Management Expert, Executive Coach, Columnist, Strategic Networker

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