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Getting people to talk behind your back – tips for strengthening your reputation at work 

1/8/2015

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How do you get people talking positively about you? Establishing a reputation is crucial for career success. You want to be known as someone who is easy to work with and incredibly determined, and you want others to be the ones talking about it.

Here a few tips on how to establish a reputation for excellence:

1.    Respond to emails quickly and thoroughly
Be prompt with responses, but it isn’t all about speed, writing thorough emails that answer the question, explain why, and anticipate further questions makes you appear not only knowledgeable, but very attuned to the needs of others. This is also a huge time-saver because, when done correctly, it eliminates a lot of the back and forth that can make checking emails so time consuming.

2.    Always have a plan B
Be reliable and show that you are prepared to complete a task, even if there are some road bumps along the way. Deadlines are set for a reason, so try to plan on completing a task a week or so ahead to give yourself time to adjust if any complications arise. Like with email, try to predict where a problem might occur in order to help find an alternate solution. This shows initiative, control, and time management. There are, however, times when meeting the deadline just cannot happen. If you find yourself in this type of situation, always talk to the client or manager a few days before the deadline so that everyone is in the know, and further progress and resources aren’t mishandled. It’s never a good idea to blame someone else for a missed deadline. If it was your responsibility, you have to take the blame for something that doesn’t get done on time. People admire someone who will shoulder responsibility.

3.    Take initiative
Don’t wait to be asked. If you see something that needs to be done, go ahead and do it. This shows those around you that you are a hard worker who doesn’t need constant direction.

4.    Speak up
If you are in a position to give your opinion on a project, do so. Don’t be afraid, but always give your opinion respectfully so that you don’t come off as arrogant or rude if your opinion differs from those around you. Companies love having a wide array of ideas and opinions, so don’t keep quiet if you have a good idea.

Having a strong reputation can strengthen all of your personal and professional relationships. The best way to build a reputation that will create a successful career is to have people saying good things about you when you are not in the room. It’s a wonderful thing when you hear that someone has made a great remark about you behind your back. 

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The truth about New Year's resolutions

1/1/2015

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The truth about New Year’s resolutions is that of those who make them, the majority breaks their resolutions within the first few weeks. Why is that? I have a friend who has made a promise to quit smoking over and over again, but she just can’t seem to stick with it.

Many people resolve to lose weight and exercise more, get more organized, or save money. What is it that you are resolving to do? Making resolutions about what it is we want to accomplish without spending time actually putting a plan into action is what usually leads to a promise not kept.

Many articles advise you to tell someone else what your resolutions are, because telling others makes it harder to break the promise you have made to yourself. Here is another way to look at that strategy: if you tell the world (aka your co workers and your boss) that you sincerely plan to do something, and don't do it, think about what message that sends to others. It can send the message that you can’t, don’t, or won’t keep a commitment to yourself. I’ve worked with more than one person who announces their resolution to the entire office only to revert back to doing the very thing they said was derailing their life in someway. If this happens year after year, it sends a message, unintentionally of course, that you don’t take doing something for yourself seriously.

Now look at the other side of this scenario. If you tell the people you work with about your intention and actually accomplish it, you send the message that you are a person who means business. You are someone who can make a commitment to do something hard and make it happen. I have promoted more than one person because of how impressed I was that they were able to demonstrate they could make up their mind to do something to improve their life and actually accomplished it.

We all want people on our team who can cross the finish line. Make this the year that you resolve to tackle something you have always wanted to do and make it happen. My friend, Marty, used to say, “If it is to be, it is up to me.”  No one can accomplish our goals for us – we have to count on ourselves to follow through. Happy New Year and may all of your resolutions come true.



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Giving back

12/18/2014

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Balancing work and the holiday season can be stressful. This hectic pace that some of us take on can make us look for every possible short cut. Years back, I put the artificial tree away and seriously thought about leaving the ornaments on to prevent the hassle of pulling everything back out of the overcrowded attic the next year. When it came time to trim the tree the following year, I was looking for ways to save time and decided not to go on the annual hunt in the attic for the traditional ornaments. Instead, I went to the store and bought all new matching decorations. That year we had a tree that looked like it belonged in the window of a department store- perfect.  I felt guilty for buying decorations when we had good ones nestled in the attic. However, I wanted to enjoy the season with a minimum amount of hassle. It was a relief, really.

The year of the new decorations was especially significant; it was the first Christmas we had after our family changed our traditional way of celebrating the holidays. When they were 14 and 16, my daughters successfully persuaded me to give all of the money that we would have spent on Christmas to the poor. Oddly, I resisted at first, not because I thought it was a bad idea, but because I couldn’t imagine a Christmas morning without gifts under the tree. Once we changed our way of celebrating the holiday, it seemed that the tree and decorations became less important. It was okay for everything that was familiar to stay tucked away in the chaos of storage.

More than a decade has passed, my daughters are grown, but I am drawn now more than ever to finding ways to give to the poor and tend to the lonely, rather than how to decorate the house. I ask friends and family to give me the gift of time rather than something purchased at the mall. I like to believe most people want things that money can’t buy. The story about the year I bought all new decorations used to be amusing, but not anymore. I now look back at it for the lesson it taught me. The money I spent on new decorations could have been better spent on making someone’s life just a little easier, and that would have been more consistent with how our family intended to celebrate Christmas.

The year of the readymade tree, a friend told a story about a woman who wrote to Mother Teresa asking if she could join her in Calcutta to help with her work. As the story goes, Mother Teresa responded by saying there was no need for the woman to travel so far to help the poor, she said that we each have our own Calcutta right in front of us – we just need to look around and we will clearly see the poor, the lonely, the homeless, and the hungry who need us as much as those in Calcutta needed Mother Teresa.

Now, instead of taking too much time decorating a perfect tree or hunting for ornaments, I make the effort to find what needs to be done to help those around me during the Christmas season.  I think it’s important to be intentional about how we celebrate the season. Calcutta really is all around us.  What Mother Teresa said was true – maybe more so now than ever.

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Making a New Year's resolution that will stick

12/18/2014

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Here we are at the start of a new year — time to make that list of resolutions. Chances are that some — or most — of them pertain to your work life. The most frequently made resolutions related to work are:

  • Reduce stress
  • Get a promotion
  • Get a new job
  • Expand my network
  • Be more organized
Although probably 80 percent of the people I know make some kind of declaration at the beginning of the new year, my unscientific estimate is that less than five percent actually follow through. Why is that? When someone is determined that they are going to stop this or start that, why do they ultimately not do so?

Here are some ways to make a promise to yourself and actually keep it.

1. Keep your list short. It’s better to choose one thing to focus on than to make a long list and get nothing done.

2. Start with the top 10 things you would like to commit to that will make a positive change in your life. Take a hard look at the list and narrow it down to one promise. That’s right — one promise that, if you can actually do it, will significantly improve your life. Start by crossing out five things on your list of 10. Now take the shortened list and cross out four more. I know this is hard. Why? Because we all see the new year as a great way to hit the reset button, to get rid of some those nagging bad habits that we can’t seem to control. Complete this sentence: Once I have done _____name the resolution______my life will be ______________________________________.  Finish the thought so that you can be sure that whatever you are committing to spending your energy on will have a measurable impact on your life.

3. Remember that January 1 is just one day of the year; you can add to your list any time. Making too long a list right now can create the opportunity to sabotage your chances of success.

4. Post your resolution in places where you will see it daily, such as on your bathroom mirror and on your computer screen. This will help keep you focused on your commitment.

5. Treat your resolution as the most important promise you will make to anyone this year. How often do we make promises to others and move heaven and earth to keep them at the expense of keeping promises to ourselves?

6. Break your resolution down into reasonable steps and make them very easy to achieve. For example, if your resolution is to expand your network, the first thing you can do is to make sure your LinkedIn profile is up to date. Once that’s accomplished, do some research on which groups you should join on LinkedIn. Next, make a list of people you would like to meet and see who in your network can make an introduction for you. Don’t feel as if you have to start going to three events a week. Just sharpening your networking skills slightly can go a long way toward making every interaction you have more productive. Consider what steps you will take in the first month and how you will you measure your progress.

7. Make changes gradually. It takes about 21 days of doing something consistently to establish a new habit. For your first 21 days it will be important to track your progress and be intentional about the change. At the end of each day, make a mental note of what went right and whether you need to revise your plan.

8. Get support. Consider joining an online support group with people who have made a similar resolution. Telling someone else about your goal and asking him or her to support you dramatically increases your chance for success.

9. Celebrate your milestones by doing something that you enjoy. Reward yourself for your progress. Think about how good you will feel (and how much your life will change) when you have achieved your goal.

10. If you falter, don’t give up. Don’t abandon your goal. Hit the reset button and keep going.

Think back on your resolutions from last year. Do you even remember what they were? Make this the year that you deliver on your resolution.


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'Tis the season

12/4/2014

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It’s the holiday season and chances are you will be invited to attend an office party.  Maybe it’s been a stressful year and some people will feel that the annual office gathering is the time to kick back, relax, and have a few drinks with their friends at work or a time to get to know that boss who never comes of his office better. Both of those assumptions are true but it’s so important to keep a few rules in mind. Here are a few tips on etiquette and for making sure you don’t end up being one of the stories told about a holiday party gone wrong ten years from now.

  1. Moderation. Yes, office parties are meant to be fun, but drink, sing, or dance in moderation. Remember that no matter how relaxed the atmosphere is, you’re still representing yourself to those in your company- the keyword is office party.
  2. Stand out. Office parties are good opportunities to introduce yourself to people you want to get to know better, especially if you’re new to the company. Making a good impression, i.e. being dressed appropriately, not drinking too much, and mingling with others can make you stand out from the crowd.
  3. Say thank you. Holiday parties can often take a lot of time to plan, so saying thank you to those who coordinated the night is the right thing to do.
  4. Appropriate gifts. As for grab bag gifts, keep the gifts appropriate. You don’t want to walk in with a Victoria’s Secret bag. Keep the gifts simple and classy; for example, gift cards for books, coffee, or music, or a nice planner and pen. If you know someone likes tea, you can get him/her a nice to-go mug and some tea samples. Keep the gifts thoughtful yet appropriate, and don’t go over the stated budget!
  5. Remember to be inclusive.  Try to listen more than you talk and take a look around to see if someone is standing off to the side or looks uncomfortable. Including people in conversation always spreads good will long after the party is over.
  6. Keep the conversation positive. The holidays are a wonderful and fun time, so make the most of them and keep the conversation focused on positive things and not a list of what is going wrong at work.
  7. Don’t be the last person to leave unless you have organized the party.

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Gratitude unlocks the potential of the workplace

12/1/2014

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“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”  - Melody Beattie

With the constant drive to succeed and competition that many engage in every day, it makes Thanksgiving that much more significant. It’s the day to consider how lucky we really are, and to be grateful for it.

It’s good to pause and see if we are actually doing this as a common practice where we work as well. Many studies show that people appreciate praise and recognition of a job well done as much as, and sometimes more than, they do money.  We need more than one day out of the year devoted exclusively to taking time out to be thankful.

Consider how many times a day you stop to look around and notice the good work of the people in your office. I remember early in my career working in a company where many people walked down the hall without looking up to say hello- needless to say a simple thank you was not at all a part of the culture. When this type of culture exists, how can an atmosphere of gratitude and appreciation be present?

Let this Thanksgiving be a day to appreciate even the smallest pleasures, but don’t let it be the only day. Studies show that people who show more gratitude are happier, more likely to exercise regularly, more likely to help others, and more likely to take steps to reach personal goals. Overall, they are more successful. Showing gratitude can decrease stress and depression. People love to be thanked for their efforts, and doing so can greatly change the morale of any workplace.

One of the most powerful phrases at work is, “thank you.” Take just one day this week and keep track of how many times you actually say that to the people you work with – it could change everything about the way your company does business.


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I believe...

11/20/2014

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  • I believe that we should rejoice in the success of others as much as we do in our own.
  • We should not only admit our mistakes but we should share stories about them with others.
  • Our mistakes instruct us how to live a better life. They are gifts.
  • We should ask others for help when we need it.
  • I believe that gossip is bad- it is like committing an act of violence against the person being talked about. They will probably never know exactly what was said, and will never be able to defend themselves. 
  • We should surround ourselves with interesting people.
  • We should be brave and do things that scare us.
  • We should always do work that we love, embrace change, and take a chance.
  • We should give others a chance, even when they haven’t asked for one.
  • We should not panic.
  • What do you believe?

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Make your resume count

10/2/2014

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We’ve all been there - spending hours looking over our resume trying to decide what verb to use, what should go where, and adjusting the margins to make it all fit. It can be really difficult creating a one-page document that reflects your working career to-date. Trust me, I get it, but a solid resume can really help you standout from the rest of the applicant pool.

Some people opt for having their resumes done professionally, which can be helpful, but you have to reread it after to ensure that it really reflects your work history. I had someone apply for a job in my company several years ago, and noticed a section on the second page stating that he had been an airline pilot. I thought this was interesting given he didn’t do it for very long, had no training in that field, and the job he was applying for was more of a customer relations position. It turned out that the company he had hired to do his resume made a mistake and cut and pasted his experience into a template, inadvertently leaving in the pilot experience from the previous client’s resume. He didn’t realize this mistake had occurred until I asked him about it during the interview. If he couldn’t pay attention to the details on his own resume, how much attention would he give to his work?

Resumes are the first impression a future employer gets of you, so really make it count. Make sure your resume directly reflects yourself and your work history as best as you can. Yes, you want to make it interesting, but you don’t want to get caught in a false claim. Proofreading is key!


Categories: General, Public Image, Success, Work Environment

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The power of language

9/17/2014

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Language… We all use it, but how often do we think about what it means to put words to something? Putting our thoughts into language has more power than we might realize. Being able to use language in effective ways is an incredibly valuable skill, but the simple act of writing can help in your personal life as well.

To put our thoughts on paper is to bring them out of the confines of our minds to be fully composed, or perhaps put into action. It is the first step to declaring our wants, needs, questions, and ideas. To write our ideas down, or speak them aloud, gives them a whole new life and opportunity to grow. If you have goals for the future, write them down to make them more than fleeting thoughts in the car on the way to work. Writing down your thoughts or wants can also help you mentally prepare to ask for them in the future.

Language can also help you realize what you need to watch for. For example, words like “should” or “ought” are red flags. Should you do something because it’s what you want or because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do? If it’s the latter, then you need to course correct. Your goals should reflect what YOU want. Try this…make a list of the ten things you want most. It’s a surprisingly simple exercise to get focused on personal and professional goals.

Use the power of language to your advantage- write down your goals; this will help in creating the opportunity for achieving them. Be precise when you are asking for something, and say your ideas with conviction. I know someone who wrote down a goal to have a very busy, bustling business, but what she left out was that the business was to be prosperous. She was busy all of the time working seven days a week, but she didn’t have balance in their life or money in the bank!
What is it that you want?

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Shhh... W.A.I.T. one minute

7/1/2014

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When you’re deciding if a colleague is good at their job, chances are you consider how effectively they communicate. You think about how often they contribute meaningful suggestions, how relevant what they say is to the topic at hand, and how much you look forward to hearing what they’ll say about something that’s important to you.

But have you ever been in a conversation at work where the other person talks at you? When you finally have a chance to speak, you have the feeling they aren’t hearing a word you’re saying because they’re too busy thinking about what they’re going to say next. Have you ever been in a meeting that’s so completely dominated by one person that your mind can only ponder ways to make the person stop talking? 

There’s a saying: “What you’re doing screams so loudly, I can barely hear what you’re saying.”  This happens when someone’s actions are so overbearing – when they talk so much – they send a message (whether they intend to or not) that other people’s opinions just don’t matter. This type of conversation happens all too often.

What should we do when we encounter this type of situation? Here are a few things that come to mind:

1) Monitor yourself to see if you’re an offender. Ask yourself: Is what I’m about to say relevant to the conversation? Has it already been covered? Am I repeating myself? Am I only talking because I’m nervous or want to fill silence? Do people tend to lose focus while I’m speaking? Does the person running the meeting often say to me “let’s hear from some other people”?  If at any point you find yourself answering yes to one of these questions, you might an offender.

2) Remember the saying, “silence is golden.” The silent space that’s created from the time we end our thought until the time the next person chimes in is an opportunity for better ideas to be presented, for team buy-in to be established, and for people to share thoughts that otherwise might be stuffed under constant chatter. In sales training, it’s taught that the amount of talking done by the salesperson directly influences the probability of closing a deal. You must build a relationship – which means two people must be able to meaningfully contribute to the conversation. And the invaluable time that businesses set aside for internal meetings can be much more productive if conversations are focused and people aren’t allowed to go off on tangents. 

3) Always practice active listening. Can you recall what the last person said? If not, it could mean that you’re too focused on what you’ll be saying next. Active listening is the process of looking someone in the eye, being silent while they speak, and really hearing what they have to say. It’s the practice of keeping your mind focused like a laser on the importance of someone’s comments, without being distracted by your own thoughts, your cell phone, or your computer. If you can’t resist the temptation to check some electronic device when someone else is speaking, it means that you’re not giving the conversation your full attention. A recent study said simply having a cell phone placed on the table diminishes the chance of having meaningful conversations by almost 50 percent. (This is true for both business and personal conversations.) 

4) Need help dealing with a person who can’t (or won’t) stop talking? Try giving them this non-verbal cue – when they go on and on, look down at the table or away from them. This usually causes a natural break in conversation for even the most talkative person. Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with someone who isn’t making eye contact? It’s almost impossible. 

5) What can you do if you’re the one who can’t stop talking?  Paste W.A.I.T. in a place you will see often. It stands for “Why Am I Talking?” The next time you are about to chime in at a meeting, you’ll be more likely to take a moment and WAIT –  to ask yourself, Why Am I Talking?

6) Think about how often someone you know has intentionally paused after finishing a thought, and because they paused someone else jumped in to fill that silence with a thought that solved a major problem. Words are powerful tools, and the greatest leaders of our time understand both this and the power of silence between thoughts. They know that when both are used wisely, profound results ensue. 

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    Anne Saile

    Management Expert, Executive Coach, Columnist, Strategic Networker

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